Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
- Family importance (namely, parents). Not even necessarily my parents than the abstract of them.
- Life is better than death.
I wish there were more, but anyway, having anchors themselves make me feel secure.
So even if I am unsure about everything else, in regards to the second one:
Because life is better than death, and because I don't know whether life is filled with wretchedness or blessings, my resolution is:
1) See the blessings more.
2) Strangle every bit of nectar I can from life and suck it dry.
Even if I love, it's for me. I know this.
Even if I love selflessly, I get gratification, therefore it is selfish. Even though my actions are selfless (or perceived so).
It's a bit frustrating, life, that's all.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
moment of spontaneous outflow of emotion,
what are Words worth if--
I admit, nasty stupid pun-- blame
the modernist prose, the sight of block-age.
(ANOTHER PUN! HEHEHE)
Tiresias can't look, yet sees
the confusion, through all,
at the inability-- disgusting core, Matthew Arnold would say-- to voice,
(WHAT does Gypsy Scholar do for you? Does it animate?)
to please? Perhaps, if Eliot's fame was-- no, IS-- so
it does boggle the mind in a most terrible
and irritating way. Discordant noise, jumbling
the mind and freezing over a jaw grinding
its teeth in frustration
HOW SHOULD I STUDY THIS when
it is so meant to create such a terrible mess
and to horrify with a decay and confusion
of perspective and time;
HURRY UP NOW IT'S TIME.
HURRY UP NOW IT'S TIME.
'Well I say you are a fool'
Infertile brain, curs'd with fertile womb
but brain is the root, and so since the seed
will also make the womb infertile
HURRY UP NOW IT'S TIME.
exam! Scourge like a cruel master,
cruel schoolmaster, Choak'umchild,
he, ha, hehe,
HURRY UP NOW IT'S TIME
EXAM! . . . . . Woolf's five dots in her
insane asylum room, translates
to me because I need five minutes of stupefaction
NO TIME. IT'S TIME. IT'S TIME.
Good night, good night (I am tired, I say)
NO, it's exam time!
Wordsworth scowls, saying
I say recollection in tranquility, why
do you not follow my rules
(When he himself did not! Did he not
rebel against the suffocating society?! Running
away to nature? Much better? I think not!
Scourge me not, you are no skylark! Anger me
like Woolf’s narrator in the Room— ARE you angry, Wordsworth
or it that all in my mind!?— wandering in the clouds?)
If I should write with this shuddering
and insanity at my exam, I shall certainly get a zero
Or some other mark
nasty and forever until I am wrinkled like a prune,
no, less: like a raisin. Small, small!!
no, no, no, please.
Foreshadowing is such a terrible thing,
Literature is not life though!
Although, would you not agree it's a mirror?
no, no, no!
Said Philomel too before despair took
her tongue, but not
her substance, her brain
BUT NO WORDS AND SO HER SUBSTANCE UNANNOUNCED
and unmarked, until she turned to a bird.
Fly, fly, let me fly, please--
HURRY UP NOW IT'S TIME.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
What. a. bummer.
Anyway, on Studying... WHY DID I TAKE FRENCH?
Seriously, I have an oral on the 6th and an exam on the 13th. Easy or not, I feel like.... it's just so out of place with the rest of my courses.
I guess I should review French today? and just write the oral.
...Yeah. Shower or not? Except I have no more conditioner. Well, only a little bit...
I also woke up at 10 today, but I fell back asleep until 1. Wtf. =.=
Although to be fair to myself, now that I think about it, I think when I woke up earlier my eyes were poofy like mad. I didn't even open them properly.
No more computer before bedtime.
Ahaha, well okay, it's not the first time I've set this resolution, but this is definitely a reminder...
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
And I think the urge has died down now... it's time to think.
Yes, I think I do want a keyboard.
Do I want a clicky or a non-clicky one though?
Originally I have thought clicky for sure...
But I mean, do I even notice how clicky it is when I am typing on my scissor switches? I'm also listening to the Cherry MX Brown switches on Youtube. Each keyboard and video sounds a little bit different, but ultimately it's the click...sound which is there and not....
I think I should still get the Blues though... because I think having the clicky feeling is important?
But if I get browns, I needn't worry about paying $30 extra for the otaku sets.
That reminds me of whether I actually need the otaku set.
I wish someone could just tell me...
Saturday, March 19, 2011
(Then I thought:)
Good keyboard is sex.
Real quills are sex.
Cleanness, books, sunlight, wood... mm... oh yes.
Oh and wtf, just found him yesterday, but Matt Wertz's voice is also....
Just happiness. Thanks. :)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Let's ignore totally ignorant asses like Derek. But even then, the ones that are okay most of the time are not when you reach the science superiority complex thing.
It's like innate? They think they got more secure prospects ("WHAT the hell are you going to do in history?") and that science makes sense, it contributes to the world, etc. etc.
This is so fucking tiring.
WHAT world are you contributing to?
WHAT lens do you look through at the world? And asses like Derek don't count. You know the one, they watched or read too much damn fiction/anime about emotionless, logical characters and want to emulate them because they think that's attractive (mentally and/or otherwise). And then they worship scientists who "revolutionized" the world by putting the world into pure logic.
To these boys and gells: Just saying, the "Scientific Revolution" came partly from Alchemy, okay. And Newton was a mystic of sorts.
No, that's right, I'm serious.
But I mean seriously, I don't even need to tell anyone what a whack Einstein was, right?
But yeah, these people? My pet peeve.
"I wonder if Naruto is coming out next week? " ? And then some explanation to defend about economy will help Japan.
I might be overthinking, as per usual, but there are two things.
1) The explanation is bull.
2) The assholeness is intentional. So they can smear shit with logic's name and then give the bullcrap explanation.
But let's give him the benefit of the doubt that the assholeness was sincere, as in, Derek was sincere in thinking purely how lost life cannot be regained (no shit, sherlock) and economics will help rebuild Japan.
Where the fuck is the emotion? A person cannot maintain to live by without emotion and compassion. I don't believe they can, unless you're sociopathic. And even then, (dare I trespass with my opinions unsupported and un-reasearched into this field) I don't know how sociopath's brain function, although I'm sure some psychology student will enlighten me... but how certain is it, exactly?
Okay, complete digression. Anyway, yeah, so stop pretending. Poser of nothing good here, run along and emulate someone else.
Smaller peeving moments:
"Non science students are not human." or something.
My reaction: Is that a joke? What? That doesn't even make sense. Scientifically speaking.
Picture of a naked mole rat baring its teeth:
Him: "What you think this looks like?"
Me: "Looks like a cornered mole rat."
Him: "Ah, what do you know, you're an English major."
1) I'm a HISTORY major.
2) ...W...t...f? This is a logic fail? I'm not a science student so I can't tell the rat's expression? Great, so if I see an angry dog, clearly I'd approach it. And pat it. On the nose. And brush its teeth because it's baring them at me, right?!
I'm sure according to Darwin then, we'll all die soon because we can't tell angry animal faces.
But stereotypically, aren't history students more sensitive to these sort of things anyway?
I'm not saying all science students are like this, of course. But I'd say 9 out of every 10 at least? ...Does this get better with age or is it just because I'm in university and I'm still young or some shit like that?
Seriously kids, stop looking at the world through a loophole.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Of course I don't understand the world I live in. The moment I do I'm screwed. More screwed than I am now, which is quite unimaginable and definitely unwanted.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Anyhow... what was in my head?
Right, something along the lines of:
Girl 1: So you never make fun of anyone? (Or something of the sort: Why don't you ever make fun of anyone?)
Girl 2 : Well, I just don't make fun of anyone to anyone. Discrimination, you know. I reckon anyone who never makes fun of anyone ever is reserving her real estate in heaven. She'd never get any on Earth.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
"... But there is [sic] something I haven't lost... the freedom of choosing what kind of person I want to be. And that was very important, because at that moment I was really fearing that because of the treatment we were having they could just harm what I thought was the good part of me... I didn't want to become thirsty of revenge and to be filled with hatred."
What admirable strength.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Or probably because I am just a very lazy person.
Sloth is sin.
Watched Dorian Gray. Ben Barnes + Victorian suit? Aarrrrgh~ <3 Even though I was creeped half the time. Scaredy-cat? Yeah, I'm not going to even try to deny that.
Anyway, SDC Volunteering opportunities are coming up. I should do that. And other finance office stuff, T4A forms and whatnot...
Amazing, I just imported it. Excellent, now it won't have a stupid name.
And I can switch back and forth.
*taps fingers together at the tips* Excellent...~
Monday, February 28, 2011
I have a strange impulse: the impulse to be submissive and rely on the kindness of people.
Seriously. Not to be a cynical bitch, but that is a very, very stupid way to live.
"Fight" isn't exactly the right word, but there's no reason to be a doormat and just feel grateful when people don't step on you.
Nonsensical at all. Clearly.