Showing posts with label ramble for the day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramble for the day. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What is naivety anyway.

Dear Stranger,

In my culture, there's this term called Naivety, and those who are naive when they are below the age of ten or so are termed cute, and it's seen as normal.
Somewhere along the line, once they reach fourteen or so, naivety becomes no longer an excuse, depending on the mistake done.

If the mistake is big enough, or sometimes that isn't even necessary, you receive a lot of "hate".

Hatred is such a weird thing. Why do people find it so good to piss on people? That petty hatred... it makes me think those people aren't capable of true love.
Of course I have hated before, and still hate. And you can only hate when you love. Truly love, truly hate.

Sorry, divergence...
But what is naivety, stranger? Because in our lands, every mistake can be a naivety couldn't it? Or just ignorance, non-seeing.

Hm.. brain isn't functioning properly and my fingers are cold. 5:13 in the morning.
Good ...night? Going to hit the bed?

After I brush my teeth and all the rituals...

God, what is Naivety? What is conforming? What is good and bad? It's like I live in a cauldron, in a giant whirling mass of colour everywhere, but ultimately giving a monocoloured feel. Sort of like the noise of an old television...

Thursday, April 28, 2011

New Record

98 words

free online typing test


Can't wait until I get 100 + Please. :)


And I just did on my second try- woot!

Also met Paige on the bus today :) Good news on my English exam, apparently, and she also like Victorian literature and seems to recommend it-- which is awesomeness :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

About Typing and Keyboards

You know, I still haven't gotten a damn keyboard.
And I think the urge has died down now... it's time to think.
Yes, I think I do want a keyboard.
Do I want a clicky or a non-clicky one though?
Originally I have thought clicky for sure...
But I mean, do I even notice how clicky it is when I am typing on my scissor switches? I'm also listening to the Cherry MX Brown switches on Youtube. Each keyboard and video sounds a little bit different, but ultimately it's the click...sound which is there and not....


I think I should still get the Blues though... because I think having the clicky feeling is important?
But if I get browns, I needn't worry about paying $30 extra for the otaku sets.
That reminds me of whether I actually need the otaku set.

...Augh....
I wish someone could just tell me...

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Good thoughts (Can't wait for summer)

Good tea is sex (that is legit what I thought when I smelled my earl gray, and drank it, and gave a natural, irrepressible sigh of satisfaction.)
(Then I thought:)
Good keyboard is sex.
Real quills are sex.
Cleanness, books, sunlight, wood... mm... oh yes.




Oh and wtf, just found him yesterday, but Matt Wertz's voice is also....
Just happiness. Thanks. :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Science Students (sometimes) piss me off.

...despite being friends with quite a few of them.

Let's ignore totally ignorant asses like Derek. But even then, the ones that are okay most of the time are not when you reach the science superiority complex thing.
It's like innate? They think they got more secure prospects ("WHAT the hell are you going to do in history?") and that science makes sense, it contributes to the world, etc. etc.

This is so fucking tiring.
WHAT world are you contributing to?
WHAT lens do you look through at the world? And asses like Derek don't count. You know the one, they watched or read too much damn fiction/anime about emotionless, logical characters and want to emulate them because they think that's attractive (mentally and/or otherwise). And then they worship scientists who "revolutionized" the world by putting the world into pure logic.
To these boys and gells: Just saying, the "Scientific Revolution" came partly from Alchemy, okay. And Newton was a mystic of sorts.
No, that's right, I'm serious.
But I mean seriously, I don't even need to tell anyone what a whack Einstein was, right?

But yeah, these people? My pet peeve.

"I wonder if Naruto is coming out next week? =D" ? And then some explanation to defend about economy will help Japan.

I might be overthinking, as per usual, but there are two things.
1) The explanation is bull.
2) The assholeness is intentional. So they can smear shit with logic's name and then give the bullcrap explanation.

But let's give him the benefit of the doubt that the assholeness was sincere, as in, Derek was sincere in thinking purely how lost life cannot be regained (no shit, sherlock) and economics will help rebuild Japan.
Where the fuck is the emotion? A person cannot maintain to live by without emotion and compassion. I don't believe they can, unless you're sociopathic. And even then, (dare I trespass with my opinions unsupported and un-reasearched into this field) I don't know how sociopath's brain function, although I'm sure some psychology student will enlighten me... but how certain is it, exactly?
Okay, complete digression. Anyway, yeah, so stop pretending. Poser of nothing good here, run along and emulate someone else.

Smaller peeving moments:

"Non science students are not human." or something.
My reaction: Is that a joke? What? That doesn't even make sense. Scientifically speaking.

Picture of a naked mole rat baring its teeth:
Him: "What you think this looks like?"
Me: "Looks like a cornered mole rat."
Him: "Ah, what do you know, you're an English major."
1) I'm a HISTORY major.
2) ...W...t...f? This is a logic fail? I'm not a science student so I can't tell the rat's expression? Great, so if I see an angry dog, clearly I'd approach it. And pat it. On the nose. And brush its teeth because it's baring them at me, right?!
I'm sure according to Darwin then, we'll all die soon because we can't tell angry animal faces.
But stereotypically, aren't history students more sensitive to these sort of things anyway?


I'm not saying all science students are like this, of course. But I'd say 9 out of every 10 at least? ...Does this get better with age or is it just because I'm in university and I'm still young or some shit like that?

Seriously kids, stop looking at the world through a loophole.

Honestly.

Friday, March 11, 2011

If only typing and thinking was the same sort of thing

80 words

speed typing test



If only I typed the RIGHT words, then I shouldn't mind essays at all. 2000/80 = 25.

That would mean I spent 25 minutes on one essay.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

On Ancestral Rites

Thank goodness in general the times we live in, ancestral worship is permitted even if you are a Christian.
Confucianism is part of me, I am Chinese.
Reading this book about the debate of Ancestral Worship (if one would call it that, it's difficult to translate) against the Early Christianity entering into Asia, in this case, Korea.

Pyun Young Tai wrote a chapter in this book, and there are several quotes I want to enter as I read it.

"...but I do know that there is some sense of gross injustice in applying this term to that in this land, unless the word "worship" is used in its obsolete sense of "recognition of merit." Even with this construction of the word, the term is not well chosen or to the point, though it is divested of its slanderous sense by so construing it...I suggest that it ought to be termed "ancestor-commemoration," if there is no better name."

Comment: Agreed.
construe: to analyze as to show its syntactical construction and its meaning. 2. loosely, to translate 3. To deduce the meaning of, or explain [her silence was construed as agreement]

"If one should wish to grasp the origin of the rite...imagine themselves back to a primitive age...the family seems all in all, the only refuge against every manner of attack from outside...the parents of the family, love, toil, and fight for their children, who look up to them not only as mere father and mother but also protectors, warriors and heroes. A kind of hero-worship is mixed with and at the same time strengthens the natural reverence and affection due to their parents...one day death suddenly claims one of them. What a grief! What a fear about the future! The most valiant of the community lies there pallid and dead!...they bury it away, very close to their home. At no meal can they escape the sense of painful vacancy at the table. The spoon, the chopsticks, the largest bowl, used by the deceased when living, are still there; but alas! the man is no more...uncontrollable grief overcomes them. One of them bursts into crying, quickly followed by the others... Grief finding thus free vent, they feel themselves a little soothed. With the return of the calm, in their untutored hearts they feel the tie of affection between the deceased and themselves is not broken and the spirit of the deceased seems to be with them still...in deep sympathy...in some invisible manner, characteristic of a ghost or spirit."
...[goes on about why it is the ancestral rites are made, something to the effect: guilt which the children feel the spirit is there, and they didn't even prepare the food for their parent, who was there just a few days ago.]

Comment: A long quote there. Firstly, a highly touching portion of the essay, and when I hear contrary to otherwise, I cannot help but become a porcupine of conservatism. In this case, I shall use Saint Augustine (as he said in his Confessions). What man (I am a woman, but I use this in the term of "mankind", damn all sexism in language) can still call himself a good human creation if he departs the most natural part of him to grieve? (I will return to this point later) Even in this world, where we no longer fear tigers outside our hut, we have many uncertainties about the future, even in the "bliss" of our first-world institutions. Predators are now our own race, and sometimes, our companions. In this case, who is it that most people can turn to?

I can say for me, definitely, it is my family. Blood cannot be changed, you cannot choose the family you were born to and brought up in. There is a truth to this, which is why some humans cannot truly accept the idea of adoption. I will rile someone up, I'm sure, when there are still many people out there, no matter what they say, in their hearts of hearts, cannot love another child as their own.
That being said, blood ties you to your kin. In my family especially (and I have a guess it's Chinese...or Asia, even, if not the world) we are inescapable. In truth we are what the Christians preach, when slapped across the face (metaphorically, say, by pride) by living together this must be resolved some way or another. We must turn the other. We love each other, we will not abandon each other no matter how far we are in life.
What grief will grasp my heart, enfold it in a black, shadowy sludge, when the day one of my parents die. My protector, my eternal teacher, a source of unconditional and unwavering love. My brother, I feel a kinship, and I know our love, although less profound, is no less real. I have been excavating it lately, and I found it there. For the longest time I thought it was a void, but it was not so. I know too little about it, but even a little to a starving man is a blessing from God.
How can a man strip away this love? How can a man strip away this grief? How can one not cry, wash away the sludge with salty tears, with the taste of salt on the lips, and thickness in the throat due to the mucus sliding down our throats?

Perhaps even my family would say: there is no need for such grief. The wheel of nature turns, and death comes with birth. But understanding this does not mean acceptance. At the time as I type this, this is not my philosophy. I accept a wheel of nature, but I know I can only love through engagement. For what is the study of philosophy, if not only a logical tangle with what we feel naturally? Logic and reason as the pair of hands, searching through our much wider emotions and primal.
I have no desire to delve in this search, for I have already found my truth. Life and death are not so special by their own, only the certainty of what happens in life is clear. Only the primal feelings are clear. It is not to say, a man should not refine himself and experience only in his primal state. How limited is his existence then, when a choice is there for him to expand, to live more?
If only what happens in life is certain, is real to our minds, then perhaps that is what should only matter. I can only take care of what is in my province, the realms of the unknown I leave to explorers to explain to the masses. For me, life is my the love of my family, the home of my heart, where I can lay when I am weary. For me, life is my goals, my ambitions, so that my path is clear, and my heart does not stay with indecision and fear of mistakes and regrets out of future foolishness.

Oh, let human realize mistakes is part of life, and only with mistakes can we learn to move forward. It has been oft repeated, but little listened, especially with our most sheltered era. This will lead somewhere down the path, I fear. A path of degeneration.
But let this not hinder me, for one can only do his best. Do the means for the ends, walk before you fly.

....well that is getting somewhere and nowhere. Off topic for the win.
Maybe I'll go on, maybe not. Either way I'm done my ramble journal-entry for the day.

:) Good luck to me to writing one everyday.

I will do well, for my family. The memory of my ancestors. If, as Pyun suggests, the Chinese have changed the meaning of worship of ancestors to idolatry and superstition, then let me put it in the case which he would accept. Let me respect and worship what my father's parents and what my mother's parents brought up, gave to me. Let this continue upwards, in all the family ancestors connected. A deep thanks.

For them, I do well.

To them, I bow in gratefulness. To them, I promise with solemnity.