Thursday, March 25, 2010

Wolf and Dreams

Firstly, I believe this is more fitting in my physical journal than this blog. Nevertheless, I am too lazy to get out of bed and write it, which will take a longer time.

The wolf is back, and I feel so secure this time, for a long time. It seems like I regained the ability to think, furthermore, I have also gained new experience, so my scope is broader.
I will make him stay there, even when I am with other people.
Does this mean what I feed off will revert? Enjoy the light pleasantries, and not so much the depth of people?
Perhaps. Depending on how close I am to them, perhaps? This will need a bit of thinking.
Conclusion on this: ...Useful for analysis purpose. I can also give lend my ear to most, and my heart to those I choose. Discriminate, basically.
Is this what I already do though, I wonder.
Well I guess the basic difference between these two perspectives is: the crave. I no longer crave. Truly. Even in my heart, where the wolf lays around now.

Banawah's msn name is: don't just follow your dreams, chase after them.
Does this apply to her?
Analysis purposes...I had talked to her.

Anyway, more important, I would just like to make a retort, in a sense, or at least, a reply:
The cliche to dare to dream...dare is the word because you need to sacrifice to be great. And all dreams are great, at least to the dreamer.
Chasing after them would require...sacrifice, courage, perseverance. Self-motivation, not being dragged and pushed.

Wolf, guide me well. I am your master- I am master of myself- but I will need you in truth now. Let's destroy the weaknesses of the old me, and accomplish the dream.

On light-heartedness:
These are good. I am allowed them. They help me live longer and enjoy life. I am a gemini, I have two sides. One is the sun, the affection and the other is the wolf.
All I need is mastery of both, and to know my limit, and as my mom said: be strong enough to say no. And as my dad said: know when to stop playing.
I do know, and I will need strength to stop- give me the clarity and strength and will to stop appropriately, wolf.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Tears of a broken rose

A bad time. Still.
Listening: Rose, NANA's first opening. Anna Tsuchiya

In this darkness, feeling small, knowing wrong, I cry.
Nobody can save me, and I don't want anyone to save me.

I need your love.
I'm a broken rose.
If my tears can shame you to not leave me,
then that is these tears' purpose.

I need your love,
if my tears can shame your soul,
if that's the price for you to stay,
then I will cry.

I need your love, I know
it's no longer true and healthy.

But I'm a broken rose.
I need your love,
even a broken rose still has its thorns.
These tears that shame my self,
if that's what will keep you, if
that's what only keeps you, I will cry them.