Palpitation

How am I supposed to sleep right now? So excited...두근두근...
Lol, seriously. Okay, so I was like: NEED SOME RELAX CHILL TIME. To Mom.
And she interrupted me like 3 times. At first I was sort of angry. The second time was like: more angry. The third time we both laughed.
Because it was pads? She's more worried than me, probably.

Okay, but seriously I don't think I'm worried, perse.

See? That was two more times in less than a minute. Wow. Okay. My elbows touch wood as I'm typing this. End. 끝!!!!!!!

There's definitely something about packing which drives me on overdrive. I remember I didn't sleep when I was packing to go to Univ this year, and in the end I still forgot stuff. It was nutty, I fell asleep in the car even though it killed my "fishing" neck.

Okay. Chatting. Relaxing. Kissing You remixes wearing off....

sleepy time?

Christmas Holidays

Has began. Living with mom has been good so far (3 days).
Going to NY in 12 days. Went to the gym twice (1 and a half?). Saw Victor. Read Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay "Heroism" from Essays: First Series (1841). Interesting. Maybe I should freewrite something. If only GS3 was not taking up my life.

I wonder if people surrounded by people who scoff at the arts but take history are taking it because they know that whatever they take in undergrad doesn't matter that much.
What matters is you get damn.good.marks.

...Focus. FOCUS

Not a secret

Secretly, I really enjoy doing dorky things some people would think is retarded. Like rocking out to music and playing "air drums" when I have no sense of rhythm really.

But hey, makes me grin.

Don't look at it in the face

Exams, dad's email that I have to reply, Residence Fee thing not yet set back to normal (wtf, sigh), Brother.

How am I going to face dad when I know so little?
It's not like I can't just go pick up myself and go find out stuff. If only I was just less lazy.

Sloth is evil, I swear.

A bout on Art

Art. A one syllable word. (Gramatically, it should be "an" one...I suppose, but "A" sounds better. In which case, why not make it a sentence fragment and take away that indefinite article, you may ask? Well...)
Is it me, or are monosyllabic words indicative of necessity, of the primal? Not necessarily the other way around (for example, water is two syllables in English...although in French it is l'eau...so... well... and in Chinese it's "sui" so...)

Art is everywhere, and today as I was looking at the plunger of the shower stall, anything. Silence, noise, beauty, ugliness... everything can be surreal, as long as the beholder is observing it without his (or her) usual perception.
Seth Godin said in Linchpin that Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. And it is in the intent, and it is creation.
As he is saying this, perhaps typically, I'm thinking of the story in my brain, which I have not writ for yet.
Truthfully there is a doubt in my brain I shall ever start. When I try, I hit a wall...
I understand that I must break through that wall to be a writer. But...I am lazy at the moment? There are a lot of reasons why I must write this story though. For myself, mostly.
Yet I can't help but dream these useless dreams about it; fame, how to make it enjoyable to people. I wish I wouldn't? Because it's not really helpful. And I want to believe I want to write because... I want to write the story, I think people can enjoy it.
;;Sigh

More notes on Godin's Linchpin:
- The most visceral art is direct. Agreed...? Most of the time? Perhaps I'm not getting the image of art correctly.
- Passion is the desire and insistence and willingness to give a gift.

(mind swings to another direction completely)

Mostly today I am wondering why people are so jealous and selfish? Godin mentions the Poverty Mentality "If I give you something, it costs me what I gave you. The more you have, the less I have. The more I share, the more I lose."
Yes. Very true.
And today, I realized my roommate might be an easily jealous person.
And how yesterday I am a jealous person.
And how today, I still might be a jealous person. Although....I think that might be curiosity as opposed to jealousy.
(mindswing)
Me me me. Everything is about me. I can't help it.? I want to grow interest in other people too. Otherwise the world is small.
But I find this difficult because... how do you make yourself interested in anything? Make?
In subjects, maybe by reading about them.
So in people, is it just asking more about them?
(Snowing like endless amounts of sugar outside. The sparkle...unlike Salt...)
(mindswing)
Linchpin: The combination of passion and art. People with passion loof for ways to make things happen.
(mindswing)
Generosity...

As a result of our selfish poverty mentality, despite (some of us) feeling a gaping hole, which we're at the edge of, only a minority acknowledge and promote it: the need for the humane, the human touch of the personal.

...Does this relate to what I was talking about earlier in regards to the people? How to be interested in people..?